so , this is the first entry that i wrote after a very long time i leave my baby alone . oshoshosho . sorry baby but i got work to be done . tones of it . i'll update it more :D
every time i post any entry, there must be something that just happens to be so important or just affect to my freaking life . well, it does and it just bugs me more. i might be confuse . NO! i am confuse with my feelings right now . i don't know what to think, what to feel and what to do. i'm a mess.
i don't now whether it is true or not but i still have this feelings over my first love. this ain't right. technically this is wrong! why? because i have a boyfriend and he has a girlfriend a really good one and in any how i just have this feelings that i might get him back and i want him back. i'm such a bitch. i don't even know how it came back. it's been i don't know 3 years or something.
i don't even want to feel this kind of feelings. i already have a boyfriend and i love him but he just came in nowhere BACK into my life, my dream and my soul. this feelings is wrong. i want it to be gone and i don't even want it but the more i ignore the more it came by.
part of my heart still has his place. i thought that for over 3 years we've been breaking up, there's no more him in my life but i guess i was wrong and i guess that his spot still remain in my messed up heart but just not with me. he deserves to have a good soulmate like his girlfriend and not me. well, it's never been me.
i need to overcome this stupid thoughts and feelings. leave him be, let him have his new life and just move on like you did 3 years before nafeesha ! it's not worth thinking AT ALL . his someone else's and he wont be yours again. PUT THAT IN MIND !