My heart seems to be out off place too.
At times, I could feel like the sun shines right through me that rainbows would appear every inch of my body but at times I feel like the storm above my head wont stop raining.
Has the time of the month is on it's way to visit?
I've noticed that as soon as the new years came in, my feelings became unstable. I wasn't me the past couple of months ago. I wasn't as firm as I was before, nor has I being in control.
Has he bewitched me?
No, I can't. I have been building up myself for months, I have been fixing myself from being broken and I can't afford to be broken again. Would I?
This indecisive thoughts is killing me, literally. At times I can feel the joy of being wanted again by the only person that I'm seeking. I couldn't care less about people or anything that revolves around me, all that matters is him. I feel like I want to gave him my all and treat him right. At times, it feels like nothing has changed, it feels like he had never left me.
But then I remembered all the lost, the hurt, the broken. I felt hopeless. Then I thought to myself, I can't do this, I can't just let him in easily as he left me. I just can't risk my happiness, my heart just for him, I can't bare it, I know I couldn't take it.
So what do I want? What do I have to do with this feelings of mine?
Honestly it haunts me. I keep on wanting to know what has been going on for the past 10 months of absence. I keep on asking things that I shouldn't know and that it will eventually hurt me and follows me to my future. It is lucky enough he knows that it is unnecessary to give me those information but it never stops me from asking.
I tried to stop thinking about it, I failed.
Then it came back to these feelings. What am I suppose to do with it? Should I just let him in without putting any fight? Should I just give it away without him needing to break down the walls that I've built?
Does he deserves the second chance?
