I confess, I didn't expect he would respond to me at first and so I started to think that I could actually have a chance with him. I was proud that even the littlest effort, I got his attention. But I was wrong, I need more than that little effort to have him and so I've became obsessed because he's the only guy that resist me. I know that I shouldn't throw myself to him but the universe somehow told me to keep on going.
I was torn between "if it's meant to be, it will be" and "if you want it, go get it"
I told myself that "there's no harm in trying", I was wrong. It hurts deep down inside, my pride has been strangled by my own action. I felt stupid, irresponsible and desperate. I've tried to find some distraction and starts focusing on myself but it never works, rather than that, it got worst. My obsession towards him grew more and unstoppable. I was insane.
It took me a while to snap out of my conscious and bring myself back to reality and when I did, everything was too late. He distance himself from me, avoid questions and cutting every conversation.
What have I done?
There is a lot of possibilities of 'I shouldn't have done that' in my head that is useless at this point but what's past is past. All I can do right now is calm myself down and accept the fact that he is not going to happen any time soon.
I always known that he doesn't have that much of interest in me but the problem with me is that, I took the littlest investment that he gave and make it a possibilities and that is why I ended up being where I am right now, disappointed.
So, I surrender. It's best if I would just focus on myself and not be distracted by any guy. It has been a while that I achieve any of my goals in life and I should start doing it. By that time, the right guy, the one that is right for me will come along.
"If it's meant to be, it will be"
